Let me go
by Cherry tiger
Summary: As Syaoran gazes into the stars in a new world, his thoughts are on the girl whom he swore to protect... What were to happen if she comes along? Angst. Somewhat based on book 9. Song used 'Let me go' by 3 Doors Down.


I've actually been pretty hesitant to post this up for two reasons. One is that this is another angsty fic... filled with spoilers for those who have not read book 9 of the manga. The other is that has let out this warning about copy and paste lyrics? I don't understand it myself... can someone please explain it to me? Because from what I've heard, it looks like most of my Tsubasa fics might go (starts crying).

Anyway, back to the story. As I've mentioned this fic is based from what I've read so far in book 9. So if you haven't read up till there... not only will it bea spolier, but you'd get confused as well. I used the song 'Let me go' from 3 Doors Down cause not only did it inspire me to write this, but I think it enhances the fic a little more. (That's my view... please let me know if you guys would prefer it without the song!

Enjoy!

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Syaoran was sitting on the ground, not far from their camp. They had reached another new world that was similar to a meadow he and his father once traveled upon. It was green, there was a river nearby and trees sprouted in odd corners. But it was dark now, and as night insects chorused in the dark, the moonlight and the stars were his only source of light that guided him to sit there.

He couldn't sleep that night. Why, he was about to find out… Contemplating as he gazed at the twinkling gold stars, he wondered where Sakura's feather, another piece of her memory, was. He had to find it. It was his responsibility to find it… He wanted Sakura to be who she was again.

But then again, she wouldn't fully be herself. She had forgotten him, or more like, had to forget him. It was a price that Syaoran had to pay in order to be able to travel into different worlds and retrieve her feathers that are her memories. Even so, he once felt that Sakura wouldn't be the Sakura he knew if she had forgotten him.

Somehow, she managed to surprise him as time passed by, and more of her feathers had been returned to her. She definitely had the same spirit as she had when she was young, always trying her best and giving it all she got. She still wears that same smile she used to give to everyone, including him… And she still worries about him.

He felt his face turn warm as his hands automatically touched his right eye. Sakura had kissed him there once just because he felt a sharp pain in his right eye. He remembered how unsure he was at that time, what to do or how to react. All he could do was say 'It's ok' to the apologizing girl and try to keep his emotions calm before her. As Mokona explained about the body having its own memories, it calmed both of them down.

But it made him wonder… Does this mean there's a chance for her to…?

Syaoran shook his head aggressively, as if the thought could fly out of his mind by doing so. _It's impossible…_ he thought. _There's no way… There's just no way…_

_One more kiss could be the best thing_

_Or one more lie could be the worst_

_And all these thoughts are never resting_

_And you're not something I deserve…_

"Syaoran-kun? What are you doing there?"

Syaoran turned in surprise to the voice. "Hime?"

"You can't sleep as well?" said Sakura, as she walked towards Syaoran and sat near him. Holding on to her blanket that covered her, she turned to him and smiled.

"Um…" was all he could muster as he tried to avert his attention somewhere else. The moonlight was illuminating her face and it made her smile… radiant.

_In my head there's only you now_

_This world falls on me_

_In this world there's real and make believe_

_And this seems real to me_

_And you love me but you don't know who I am_

_I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand_

_And you love me but you don't know who I am_

_So let me go, let me go…_

Sakura gave a light laugh. "It's funny, isn't it? Usually, whenever I fall asleep, I don't wake up till it's late. I think I remember Onii-sama saying that I sleep like a log!"

Syaoran smiled in agreement. He could remember how she used to wake up, all messy and ruffled just because she woke up late. And then her brother would insult her, and they'd fight with each other until they tire of it.

"Do you think it's because I'm getting more of my memories back, that's why I'm not so sleepy anymore? Ne, Syaoran-kun?" she asked, looking very happy.

Syaoran continued to smile. "Ah…"

Sakura looked up at the stars. "Wah! They're so pretty!" she said, joyfully. She looked at Syaoran again. "I think I'm really fortunate, you know…"

"Eh?"

She smiled. "Because I've seen so many things I don't think I will ever see back in my country, and I've met so many great people. Including Moko-chan, Kurogane-san, Fye-san… and even you, Syaoran-kun!"

"Ah…" was all he could say. In truth, he wanted to say a lot of things. Most of them, he wasn't sure how to put into words. But it was something like… _I'm so glad you're happy. It makes me happy as well…_

_I dream ahead to what I hope for_

_And I turn my back on loving you_

_How can this love be a good thing?_

_And I know what I'm going through…_

"Look, Syaoran-kun!" said Sakura, standing up. Her voice rising as she pointed at the sky. "Look! A falling star! It's a falling star, right? Should I make a wish? Yes, I think I'll make a wish!" With that, she closed her eyes and clasped her hands together as she made her wish.

Syaoran looked at the falling star, and closed his eyes as well. He didn't exactly make a wish. Although deep inside him, he wished he could find all of Sakura's feathers. He just… allowed the moment to sink in. As though he was savouring something he couldn't quite grasp…

_In my head there's only you now_

_This world falls on me_

_In this world there's real and make believe_

_And this seems real to me_

_And you love me but you don't know who I am_

_I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand_

_And you love me but you don't know who I am_

_So let me go, just let me go, let me go…_

"Ano ne…" said Sakura, her face turned slightly serious as she continued to look at the falling star that was about to disappear in the horizon. "I have this feeling like I've gone stargazing with someone before and saw a shooting star, almost like this moment. I was really happy, not only because it was my first time to see a shooting star, but because I was with that person. In fact…" She looked at Syaoran, a distressed look in her eyes.

He recognized it instantly. _No… Don't…_

"I've had so many memories like this. So many… where there was always someone beside me and that person always made me happy. But I can't remember who that person is and why does that person make me feel so… happy and… special?" Her gaze was insistent now.

Syaoran looked away. _Please… stop… or else…_

"Syaoran-kun, please!" she cried as she dropped to her knees before him. She clung unto her blanket as though it was her only support. "Please tell me who that person is! Why can't I remember? You're hiding something from me, I know you are! You can tell me, please?" There were tears in her eyes, and slowly, they trickled down. "I don't know why… it's just that… I feel it's wrong to forget that person. When that person meant so much to me…"

Syaoran clenched his fist and closed his eyes tightly. The pain… he couldn't hold the pain enough to stop Sakura from worrying.

_And no matt__er how hard I try_

_I can't escape these things inside_

_I know, I know_

_But all the pieces fall apart_

_You will be the only one who knows, who knows…_

"Syaoran-kun, please tell me!" she cried, drawing closer to him. "Could it be—?"

But Sakura couldn't finish her sentence. She was too alarmed by the arms that had suddenly encircled her, and the head next to her whispered, "That's enough."

_You love me but you don't know who I am_

_I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand_

_And you love me but you don't know who I am_

_So let me go, just let me go…_

Sakura's eyes widened as though she had realized something she should've known a long time ago. "Ah!" was all she could say, before passing out in Syaoran's arms. She was asleep now… and her conversation about the mysterious person with Syaoran had been erased.

_(You don't know)_

_You love me but you don't_

_You love me but you don't_

_(You don't know)_

_You love me but you don't know who I am…_

He wanted to carry Sakura back to the camp and let her sleep there. But for some reason, he continued to hold her and found himself whispering, "Sakura…" over and over again.

_(You don't know)_

_You love me but you don't_

_You love me but you don't_

_(You don't know)_

_You love me but you don't know me…_

_

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_

Gah! (Sniffs) I always torture myself by reading that last paragraph over and over...

Please C&C!


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